Hark Blog

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        Angry. Feeling sort of angry today, probably because I'm sick and would have rather not gone to school. I guess I was well enough to do so, but it still just got worse as time progressed. First period is always nice and relaxing to an extent if you can call it relaxing, and we just talked and did whatever we did I forget now. In second period there was a timed write from a prompt. I came close to finishing, but I guess I wasn't used to how it all worked. That was where the stress began to precipitate. Politics turned into the same constant babbling, and I don't know what happened there today. Then lunch I was really feeling lonely, even when I was visited by some friends. It was the whole cold mood, I hate the entire world and want to rip it to shreds, because it was you bastards that made me feel this way in the first place, and if you ever do it again I'll kill you type of mood. Where you would sooner lose a friend in the hopes of not having to deal with them and whatever problems they pose. That feeling was especially strong today. Painting wasn't bad I enjoy talking in that class, we had to work on drawing glasses and jars, but I wasn't able to draw even one as successfully as I had wanted. I don't think I was really trying as hard as I could have, but I was very sick anyways, so I guess it didn't really matter. In retrospect that wasn't bad. And now to the conundrum of math....         I worked all last night or well last night to completing my Math assignment. I taught myself the material and then as in every reaction there was an equal and opposite reaction. I was asked to do a problem on the board, and I don't care about doing stuff on the board. It isn't any big deal to me, but today I got the problem wrong and  I felt maimed and a little insulted. Sometimes I just wanted to look into some of their eyes and tell them to shutup. The teacher annoyed me more than ever. I had apparently done the line wrong and then shaded the wrong portion, well I admit I was wrong very wrong. Problem was I missed a quiz the day before getting checked out of school, and had to make that up at the end of class. I was so confused rushed and just painfully wrong. I won't be surprised if I failed that quiz. I have no remorse for not really checking my math assignments, and giving a perfect score almost everytime. It doesn't matter to me. I want to pass and be done I hate SLCC. Well, I hate the experience I've had with it so far. Today we talked about alternate dimensions entertaining and all, but then all these abstract topics arise as almost religious. I don't believe it, but it seemed feasible at the time. Not that I was in any position to disagree. The went into talking about x,y,z coordinates. Oh, how entertaining he makes it for you. We pick a problem from the book do the problem, and then the lesson is. Done it wasn't easy stuff I remember when I was doing the same stuff last year one girl cried over it. Nevermind that, we did one example and that is many examples too few. I just don't want to have to deal with that class anymore.         After all this I had a club meeting so conveniently planned, then I will have another for MUN on Monday. I don't want to do it, but I have very little choice in the happenings in my own life. If I don't I have a problem, then if I do I have a problem. So the problem cannot be solved by any means. Anyways, after getting to my mom to tell her I had a meeting I came to the dumb meeting. I hate meetings for any reason, topic, or any other boring banter they want to tell me about. At least, that applies to any school related events. Meetings are worthless. It all gets down to one thing, and that's my money, and as much of it as they can get. I don't care. I guess I'm only in FBLA for a competition or two, but I'd rather not be. Thanks friends ha! I prefer art club a 100 times more than any other club, because they haven't gone through the same ridiculous and unnecessary motions that other clubs put me through. I hate to jump through hoops, and I shouldn't have to put up with it. I told someone I didn't want to put up with the bullshit besides the competitions, and for a while the fact of that one word hit me, but I don't know why I cared really at all. Not that big of a deal. My days always seem less severe after I write them out and whine to the whole world which seems extraordinarily small, but for those of you that care.         Hugo Chavez is my new hero. This has been the longest week of my life in recent memory. I have had so much to deal with. Like we all haven't. The news sucks and everything looks grim in this world, nobody is happy, and few people actually care for each other. I don't know why but I hate it all so much. My thoughts are spinning very quickly and even when my anger dissipates I can't understand what's happening. Probably the Amitrex cold medicine, that stuff makes you high and if I remember very crazy. Well, I'll remember for next time so I can expect these mood swings. Hmm. I just don't know. I want my books from Amazon! Well, thanks for reading my rant about my terrible day. Forgot to mention the bus of boys on their way to a game changing.