I have accomplished a lot this summer, and perhaps that has been the most loathesome thing about all of it in the first place. Knowing that I have done a considerable amount of things in a short amount of time. I have come to learn a few things and ead a few texts of measurable quality. but still managed to ignore those that would have been better for me to read. I have endured the deaths of others and have gone through tremendous stresses that I cannot even begin to explain. I felt a lot of fatigue and sickness trhough this summer, some to do with sleep deprivation, some just reoccuring sickness. I am not to say despite sickness without my victories, and that is the one thing that I hold in very high esteem as having done this summer.
	I neglected a lot of things that is to say important things. Chiefly and most importantly I made new friends, and met new people. I'll say I didn't go out much but gained to opportunity to do so in the future. I have felt a lot of love at the Gay Community Center and plan to go back on as many occasions as I can. I don't expect to meet anyone of any extraordinary merit, but you never know. Nonetheless, I have met some wonderful people there and I enjoy going at every opportunity that I have. I wish I could have written blogs about the few times that I did go. Despite many things I had a lot of fun, even when I go lost in Bountiful once. And once again couldn't find my way there from the Delta Center. It has also come to my attention that memories are always without a doubt in my mind always sweeter than those present moments, and I will always remember them with fondness. I am perhaps being a little too sentimental, but I will explain all of that later in this blog as time allows since it is late anyways. 
	But before the center I went through an intensive 6 week course of hell in Chemistry. I have already spoken of it before, but I think now if i had the chance to do it again I certainly would take that opportunity as it would still be enlightening though difficult. 
	I have also learned a great many lessons some about myself and some about others. I am often puzzled by the social predicaments of others and find them all to be such trivial matter, yet I have come upon of few of them on my own lately. There is nothing worse than arguing online, and arguing crudely at that. School forums online where I took the time to write things of that I thought to be something of a rebuttal to the crude things said that were slanderous and not at all justified. I admit what I said was out of line, and this is all rather vague more for my memory, than for the reader's, but I said things in a fashionable way, but I regret having said anything at all. It is the worst thing anyone can do to make enemies of strangers and then to assume that they will not harm you, but people who do not know you are always hasty in their thinking, and will not be merciless when they come upon. That is for sure, so it is my hope to dispell my enemies. To make friends of everyone, but who knows. this year will be more torubling with more people becoming aware of my sexuality, and many people sharing it as if it were a wide open rumor for everyone to gape about at, and to make crude thoughts upon like they have an justice in their judgements. I admit I judge too, but perhaps I try to acquaint myself with the people that I judge. I remember times of other people being disdainfully spoken of, because they made the mistaker, or perhaps the realization, or wonderful discovery, that they were gay. Those disgusting utterances of such hatred, and they enveloped in me a need to know and a want to know. It is my greatest desire to show peace to everyone, my enemies included, I haven't been doing this lately, I forget that the best compassion I can show in an argument is silence. It will hurt me equally as if I had spoken, but will yield no reverberations so cruel as those that have befallen me in so many instances.
	And now to the more recent news and to the better less depressing, well let's not get ahead of ourselves, news of my final summer project. That is the reading of Crime & Punishment. I finished it today, and it was a good book, many long winded portions of characters, but still good. His language is beautiful, and he has taught me to write better things, thoguh I write little, maybe one day he will influence me to write something great as Steinbeck has. Though I cannot help loathing him for writing pure bore sometimes, and I read it in such pain, and all the while wishing to be done. Like his book illustrates and like I illustrated, in the famous Buddhist Principle, ALL IS SUFFERING, and perhaps you must first suffer to find happiness. I have to write a 10 page outline tomorrow the last day of summer, which is something that will be difficult to accomplish, but must be done. I wish myself luck. I can do it though in good time though and easily too, and then have time to prepare for the first day of school. Ha, I put everything off til the last just like I have done for the last two summers, but this will be the last instance. 
	I expect this year to be a very pleasant and possibly frieghtening roller coaster ride of many extremes. Goodbye summer and hello stress.

My Love
~Hark

Apologies for the sentiment of this blame Dostoevsky. He has set me into this way of writing, and all the perhases, and all the crazy things I wrote. Nonetheless it's over, and you didn't have to read it. No spellcheck either. Heh.